What is “the girl?” Rodger says the dreamwork is helping me to “be the girl.” The girl is the true me. Sometimes “the girl” is referred to as the “soul self.” But what does that really mean? What does it feel like to be the girl?
One way to understand it may be to first identify what is the not the girl (the pathology). It can get kind of tricky because the pathology disguises itself as the girl, trying to take over the girl. It can be hard to separate them at first. The girl feels her true feelings. The pathology covers them up with lies.
It is clear that the pathology does not want me to be the girl. It does everything it can to keep me from being the girl. This shows up in dreams but also in waking life.
What follows is a waking life illustration of what can go on between Kathy (my girl) and Pathy (my pathology). Pathy is very tricky. She acts as if she’s Kathy. Kathy and Pathy have been battling inside of me for years. Now I am starting to recognize who is who.
Kathy: I feel excited because I am taking a Spanish class. Finally I am taking a step to learn another language. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.
Pathy: Why are you bothering to learn Spanish? What will you use it for? That is not a productive use of your time.
Kathy: I like learning Spanish even if I don’t have a “reason” to learn it. Even just speaking words in Spanish is fun. Me gusta español!
Pathy: Oh, so you know a couple of Spanish words. Stop showing off. Really learning Spanish will take a lot of effort. You always do this. You start something. You get excited about it and then you lose interest. That is just the way you are.
Kathy: I am changing. I am feeling more energy and excitement. I feel more drive. I want to follow through with what I desire to do.
Pathy: I’ve heard that before. How many times have you said that? I highly doubt you will be able to follow through.
Kathy: You may be right. I don’t exactly know. I just know that I am having fun with it.
Pathy: You aren’t very good at learning languages. You can’t help the fact that your brain doesn’t work very well in that way.
Kathy: My brain enjoys the mental gymnastics. Learning Spanish is challenging but I like it!
This is a battle between Kathy and Pathy. What Pathy has on her side is that she’s had decades to perfect her art. She knows how to “take Kathy out” quickly. But her techniques aren’t working as well anymore. Dreams are exposing Pathy. What Kathy has on her side is the truth of who she is.
Although I don’t think that Pathy will ever disappear completely, she is shrinking. And as she shrinks, Kathy can notice her and continue to be the girl.