What are dreams? Where do they come from? Who doesn’t wonder about them? Dreams are mysterious but maybe that is part of what draws us to them. From the Greek mythological dream healer Asclepius to the more recent dream pioneers, Freud and Jung, people have been seeking guidance with their dreams. Today, there are tons of dream experts out there. I stumbled upon one of them as I listened to Oprah’s “Soul Series” radio program. She interviewed author and dream therapist, Rodger Kamenetz about his book, “The History of Last Night’s Dream.” Since then, I’ve been hooked. Rodger sees dreams as gifts and I agree. I’ve had the privilege of working with Rodger since August of 2009. This blog chronicles my experiences as I work with him using a method called archetypal dreamwork. This method founded by Rodger’s teacher, Marc Bregman is loosely based on Jung’s dream theories. It focuses on the amazing inner world of archetypal relationships within our dreams. Follow my blog as the dreams take me on a fascinating journey. Visit kamenetz.com or northofeden.com to learn more.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Glow Glasses




"The more you are aware of the forces of Light the more Light you create. Therefore concentrate on the Light. Think Light, see Light, be Light."
   -Eileen Caddy, Findhorn Foundation

"Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."
   -Wayne Dyer

"Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me."
   -Sy Miller and Jill Jackson

Are you aware of these “forces of Light” that Eileen Caddy refers to? Recently I had a dream where I got to look through special glasses as I traveled inside of a spacecraft. They made everything in the world look sharper, brighter, glowing. The stars were so clear and so close, it seemed like I could reach out and touch them. As my dream therapist Rodger and I discussed this dream, I could feel a kind of glowing throughout all the cells in my body. It’s a feeling I’ve had on and off since starting dreamwork. Have you ever felt something like this? It feels like being plugged in, like electric love.

Having a feeling is great – but where do we go from there? What if we took this glowing feeling into the world? Into our relationships and our connections?

What would it be to put on these glow glasses so that we can do as Eileen Caddy suggests: think Light, see Light, be Light? Unlike rose colored glasses, these glow glasses reveal the world as it really is, cutting through the haze of what we sometimes mistakenly think is true.

In the dream, the Animus (divine archetype) hands me the glasses after asking me if I’d like to take a look. This is an amazing moment where he wants me to see the world the way he sees it. I believe that he wants all of us to be able to see the world in this way.  If we can learn to live from the place that these glasses reveal, life as we know it can shift. Not only for us but for those around us.

Wayne Dyer says, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” The glasses offer a chance to do just that. 

In a dream, my husband Mark is telling some teen boys that he will loan them money to go to college. “Hey wait a minute!,” I say, “You didn’t check with me first!” I feel firmly justified in calling him out on this. In the dreamwork session, Rodger has me imagine being one of the boys receiving this offer. From this perspective I am excited and grateful. It opens up a world of possibilities for me as the teen boy. Now I step back and look at this whole scene through the glow glasses. It looks and feels totally different. Mark and the boys are “glowing” in a new way. I see and feel Mark’s generosity. I see and feel the boys’ gratefulness. As I step back and see the world through the glasses, the world changes. The issue of money and lack and “hey this isn’t fair,” fades as the glowing, loving place within me and within them grows. The glasses cut through my limiting beliefs allowing me to see and feel what is true.

Yesterday, I was confronted with a waking life situation where someone unfairly (in my opinion) questioned my integrity. Immediately I reacted with anger and justified my position. Embroiled in this reactive place I complained to anyone that would listen. As I complained, I could feel something else bubbling up along side the complaints – like a sense or an inclination to step back and look at this from another angle. Although I didn’t think of it at the time, this would have been a perfect time to slip on those glow glasses. Today, I had another person help me see this “unfair” situation in a new way by simply stating, “I’m sure there is more to the story than we know.” That one statement helped me put on the glow glasses and see things in new way. Immediately I switched out of my defensive mode of “this is so unfair” as I realized that she was right. There is definitely more to this story and it probably has nothing to do with me. If I can keep the glasses on, I may even begin to feel compassion for the person that questioned my integrity.

In every so called difficult situation that we are met with in life, there is always another way to see it. So often, we react, becoming righteous or justified in our position. We dig our heels in because we “know” we are right. What if we could stop and question our position for just a moment? What if we could put on these glow glasses and see and feel the “forces of light” in each other and in ourselves?

When I was a girl, we sang a song at summer camp; “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” It’s a sweet song and as a girl, it filled me with love and hope. I believe there is truth in it. “Letting it begin with me” could start with making a habit of slipping on a pair of glow glasses throughout the day. If we all got in that habit, you never know…this way of being may just start catching on. 

Friday, December 20, 2013

Live your best life, NOW!


Live your best life, NOW!” That is what woke me up from a nap the other day. It wasn’t exactly a dream. It wasn’t exactly audible. It felt like an urgent message pounding into my head. I sat straight up and laughed. Really? This simple message? Often dreams give me messages - but rarely are they this simplistic and succinct. I mean, if this is some kind of divine message – wouldn’t it be a little more, well… poetic or something? So I spent the day kind of shaking my head and laughing about it. But since then, it keeps coming back to me. Whoever sent me this message – my own higher self, an angel, some spirit guide or perhaps God himself or herself, the message was clear and simple. And maybe that is what I need right now… clear and simple.

So how do I live my best life, NOW? (there was an emphasis on the NOW part in the message). I think of my best life as being in the future. Do you do this? I don’t think I’m the only one. There is some future time when you will finally do the things that you’ve really wanted to do. Well, what are we waiting for?

I woke up early this morning. “Live your best life, NOW!” kept playing over and over again, urging me to do just that. So I said to whomever delivered this message, “OK, OK, I am listening.” I got up out of bed and wrote for this blog that hasn’t been written in for over a year. What else can I do NOW that I’ve been putting off for some future moment? This message is obviously universal – not just for me. What can you do NOW to live your best life?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Clumpity Clump

This dreamwork experience is always full of surprises. It throws you so many curve balls that after a while you stop thinking that you have any possible idea of what to expect. My soul voice is starting to emerge. But I never dreamed (pun intended) it would come in the form of a child singing out,

       Clumpity Clump, Clumpity Clump, Clumpity Clump

The “clumpity” dream starts off with me wanting to take an art class. The class is full, but that doesn’t stop me. I open the next door and a woman welcomes me in. She (the Anima) fills my hands with art supplies until they are overflowing. This place of desire, met with acceptance and abundance is tender place for me. Learning how to live in that place is new. In the dream session, tears start to flow when I read that part out loud. But in the next part of the dream, this creative place of feeling and desire comes to a halt. Instead of digging my hands in and getting started, I sit there and wait. I don’t know what to do. I think that I need someone to show me how to do it. Everything stops. My desire, the tender feelings of acceptance, the knowledge of abundance. All of it stops as I sit there and wait.

The dream is showing my life to me. How I sit and I wait. I have strong desires within me. Desires to create and to sing and so much more. But instead of digging in, I wait. As if there is a right way to create or a right way to sing.

Now, in the dream I see a woman sewing smiles on stuffed monkeys. Rodger helps me to see the painful truth of this. Monkey see, monkey do. A sewn on smile. That is part of who I’ve been. And that is who I am when I sit and wait, thinking that I need to have someone show me how to create or to sing.

But all is not lost. The next part of the dream is full of hope. The dream shows that there is another way to be. There is another part of me that is emerging.

In the dream, I walk over to a man (Animus) and I start to sing a little song, mimicking the rhythm of a cow or horse when it walks or runs. I sing,

      Clumpity Clump, Clumpity Clump, Clumpity Clump

At first when I look at the man, I think he is angry, that he doesn’t like my song. But then all of the sudden he begins to sing with me. We are singing together with loud voices and in a round. It is so much fun.

There is wonderful hope and joy in this part of the dream. There is also a big clue about what holds me back.

At first I think that the man is angry. And if he hadn’t started singing with me right away, I probably would have stopped singing. The truth is that he is anything but angry. He loves me and wants nothing more than to sing a silly song with me. 

This is a theme that has been showing up again and again in my dreams and in my life. This idea that I think people are angry or upset with me. In some cases that may be true, but 95% of the time, it’s just a story. I’ve been living from a place of constant vigilance. I listen for a tone of voice. I see a look on someone’s face and I think – oh, I wonder what I did wrong. I wonder why they are angry with me. I’ve been operating unconsciously in this way for all of my life. The dreams are bringing this to my attention. And the dreams are showing me that it is not true. This unconscious belief and pattern affect my relationships in my life and they are affecting my ability to connect in the divine archetypal realm with the Anima and Animus.

This dream session (and this dream) was a big one for me. It was filled with pain and with joy. I felt despair in the way that I’ve been living my life and the hope of acceptance and abundance in my desire. I felt joy when I had the courage to sing my silly song with the Animus, despite my misguided fear that he was angry. Rodger kept driving home to me the idea that I can break this misguided pattern. And I must break this pattern in order to move forward in all aspects of my inner and outer life. I felt the enormity of that. I still feel it.

My homework was to sing with the Animus, “clumpity clump, clumpity clump” any time that I think that someone is angry or upset with me – by the look on their face, the tone of their voice or anything else.

I was surprised at how often I came upon these “clumpity clump” moments. Just how often I think that people in my life are upset with me for some reason. And the lie of that is starting to break. I am bringing the voice, the rhythm and the vibration of my soul – clumpity clump, clumpity clump -- along with the support of the Animus into these moments.  Who knew that the voice of my soul would take the form of a simple, silly, child’s song? Well, now I know. And I love it.


Monday, August 13, 2012

Voices

There are voices in my head and voices that I speak. Some of them are me and some aren’t. I am not suggesting that I have a clinical psychological disorder. Although as I write this it does make me pause, wondering if what I am getting at here could have a connection to such things.

For most of my life, I’ve lived inside my head. So often there are things that I want to say that somehow get stuck in there. Some unnamed fear holds me back. These voices are me. Finally, they are starting to find their way out of my head. A few years ago, I had a dream. I was with a tiny girl that was just learning to speak. She seemed to be afraid to speak in front of the tall adults nearby. What touched me so deeply in the dream was her courage to speak although it was just a faint whisper. I can still remember the feeling of her soft breath on my ear as she whispered to me.

The girl is me. She is the soul me. At that time, she was just beginning to whisper. That is starting to change.

There’s been another voice in my head.

Dream:
There is a pool and I am about to dive in.  A woman says, “Don’t go in there. It’s not safe.” I ask why and she says there is a chemical in there. I think that maybe it will be safe to go in tomorrow.

I’m excited, ready to dive in! But then I hear a voice. It’s a voice of caution, hesitation, uncertainty. That is another voice that has been living in my head. For years and years, that voice has been much louder than the tiny whisper of my soul girl. It’s the voice that stops me from diving in.

This has been a life long pattern. I become excited, enthusiastic about a project or interest and then – poof! it disappears. It leaves me standing there at the edge of the pool wondering what just happened. I’ve been confused and disheartened by this pattern in my life.

That voice in my head has made its way to my speaking voice as well. In a recent dream session, Rodger detected that voice. When he asked me how I felt about something I said, “I don’t know.” He asked me to say it again. When I repeated it, I could feel and hear the low, drawn out frequency of it.

I   d o n’ t   k n o w

At that moment, the voice was revealed. The voice is not me. It is the voice of the woman by the edge of the pool. It’s the voice of pathology that stops me. It’s a parasite, that has been living inside me, sucking up my energy. But now I know that it is not me.

Since it was revealed, I’ve heard myself using that voice. But now, I am on to it. When I catch myself speaking in that slow, indecisive tone I know it is not me. When I hear a voice inside my head that is full of caution and hesitation, I know I don’t have to listen to it.

When I take my attention away from the “I don’t know" voice, the faint whisper can begin to grow and change into a vibration that will let the truth of my soul voice emerge.


Tuesday, July 3, 2012

A New ID



Dream:
I walk into a room and a woman wants to show me something. She says that she is giving me a new ID. It is something I will be wearing on a permanent basis. I am not so sure about that idea. She also says, “I am not quite ready to give this to you. I am still working on it but you can take a look at it.” It is a small black case the size of an ID or a credit card. In it is a stack of cards and I pull them out. The one on top is a picture of a boy (about 5) whose legs are sticking straight up and his body is bent completely forward to his legs. It appears that he is being held that way. There are red marks in rows on the backs of his legs. I feel really scared and horrified. It feels like the boy has been tortured. The next picture is of a child (same age – not sure if it’s the same child) who is being held in some type of wooden device. His head is stuck sideways in an awkward position. This is much too scary for me to look at. I quickly put the pictures away and give them back to the woman.

This dream is touching on a deep place within me. Since beginning the dreamwork, the dreams have been pointing to some type of trauma around age 4 or 5. It has been a mystery. I grew up in a typical suburban household, the middle child of three. Although I remember feeling afraid during family arguments (I played the role of mediator), I have no memory of trauma. This dream helps to begin to unlock the mystery. There is a deep memory within me of a young boy being tortured. Perhaps it is from another lifetime. The anima wants to show it to me. By showing me the cards, she is helping the memory surface. She is doing so gently, letting me see as much as I am willing to look at. It is a very scary, painful place. It is part of my true identity. My permanent identity. As I write this, I can feel the energy of fear growing in my body. 

In the session we talk about how I don’t want to face what is being shown to me. I get just a glimpse and that is enough. I want to turn away. I want to put the cards away. Forget about it. Hand them back to the woman.

We talk in a little more detail about what I saw when I looked at the cards. A boy (about 5) being held in an unnatural position, regularly spaced red marks on the backs of his legs. My sense that perhaps the red marks indicated restraint. Perhaps he was tied down, tortured in some way. The next card. Again, a boy being held in a seemingly torturous, unnatural way. This time his head turned to the side, held by a wooden block. I briefly look at the second card before quickly putting it away.

The dream is showing me a glimpse of some deeply held memories. The dream is also showing me my reaction. An automatic response of turning away. There is another dream that we talk about that shows this same pattern.

Dream:
There is a video playing on my iphone. I keep trying to turn it off but it won’t turn off.

The video is a memory that wants to be revealed to me. But I don’t want to have anything to do with it. I want the control to be able to turn it off. Turn away. My automatic reaction is to press the off button. But pressing the off button is not going to work for me any more. Not with this new ID.

These dreams are about trauma. But they are also about how I live my life. How I turn away. Rodger says that by turning away, I am missing the opportunity of feeling deeper in my life. Another recent dream suggests that I turn away from the pain of others as well. In the dream, I am a physical therapist. Joe Biden (animus) walks in with some pain. I do not ask him about the pain. I’m all about bragging that I get to work with Joe Biden. The dream is suggesting that perhaps this turning away pattern shows up in my job as a physical therapist. It is hard to look at this but I know it is true. I remember a time when I worked with a young child in her home. As I stretched her legs, she cried. She was in pain but I ignored it. I was so caught up with doing my job of stretching her that I dismissed her cries. Her Grandmother asked that I not return. At that time, I knew there was something wrong. There was a disconnect within me. It felt like an evil character flaw. But Rodger was quick to say that this is not a character flaw. It is the place that operates in me to keep me from feeling a deeper place.

My homework was to feel the gesture of putting the cards away, feel that turning away place and see where that comes up in my life. There was something satisfying about that gesture in the dream. To just put the cards away. Be done with that. The day after the session we left for a vacation on a sailboat in the Caribbean. It almost felt like the vacation itself was a way to turn away. Go live in this other world of beautiful clear water and colorful fish. It was a great way to escape from the terror that lives underneath my conscisouness. The trip allowed me to put the cards away. Of course though, they are still there. The archetypes want me to see them. They want me to feel into a new ID. I know that with their help I will. It’s the ID of my soul.





Thursday, June 7, 2012

Everything’s alright…. or is it?


My voice teacher asked me to practice a song from Jesus Christ Superstar – “Everything’s Alright.” Perfect choice! I love that song. I sang it to my kids when they were small. It fits my life motto that goes something like this:

No matter what happens, everything will turn out ok.

I use that motto to soothe myself when I am feeling anxious or upset. I use it for others when they are having difficulties. I used it quite a bit for my children as they were growing up.

So, over the last few weeks, I’ve been singing:

Try not to get worried
Try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh
Don’t you know everything’s alright
Yes, everything’s fine…..

I sing it in the car, I sing it around the house, I sing it when I’m walking. It’s a beautiful song and it soothes me.

Last week my daughter objected when I sang it. She said that she is tired of hearing it. She admits that she didn’t like hearing it when she was a child either. Hmmm. Here I thought this beautiful song held a special sweet place within her. Her honesty got me thinking.  In a recent dream session, this notion of “Everything’s ok” came up. It’s my default place. It’s the place I turn to when things are feeling “not right” within me or around me. It’s my way of rejecting a true, deep feeling place and replacing it with a kind of band aide, telling myself that everything is fine. There have been times when my daughter did not feel ok and needed me to meet her at that place. Instead I sang the song – “Everything’s alright – Everything’s fine,” brushing aside her feelings.

Dream:
I’m in a car that is going backwards. There is a man seated right next to me (I can feel his body next to mine). The car is headed towards a group of people. They look like people from a third world country (warm climate – not many clothes on). It is a family with small children. I am so afraid that we won’t be able to stop in time! Somehow the man is letting me know that he will take control of the car and he will slow it down in time. But I am so scared I can’t let go of wanting to move my foot around to find the brake. I can’t totally trust him to do it. This family could get killed. I finally seem to find the brake (I think) and the car stops just in time. Thank God! Now I am in an outdoor place where the ground is dried dirt, in line for food. There is rice and beans and I am hungry. I am glad to have this food. Melissa (my daughter – about 4 or 5 in the dream) is with me. She is not sure there will be enough food to eat. I feel sure that we will get what we need.

The dream wants me to feel and I do. I feel intense fear that the family will get hurt. I am frantic, wanting to do something to stop the car. The man (animus) lets me know that he’s got it under control. I feel extreme fear and at the same time I am given the opportunity to trust him while in my fear. I am unable to do it. The reflex to reach around for the brake is too strong. I can’t leave it up to him because I am unsure if he will follow through. The car does stop but it wasn’t me who stopped it. When we go through the dream in the session, I realize that I was sitting on the passenger side. When the dream switches at the end, it shows my default. My life motto. Everything’s alright. Will there be enough food? I don’t really know but I skip to – “we will get what we need.”

The dream sets up a dyad. Intense fear vs. everything’s alright.

My homework is to feel these two extremes. Go from the intense fear of rushing backwards in the car toward the family to my life’s motto – Everything’s alright.

Why would I want to feel intense fear? Why not just stick with – everything’s alright? Something Rodger said a while back helps me to understand it. Finding ways not to feel deeply held fear or pain is certainly one way to live but the fear and pain are still there. Those feelings will stay there until you feel them. Or they will show up in other ways. I don’t understand why I have deep fear. I just know it’s there. The dreams are helping me to feel it.

As I imagine into the dream scene for my homework, I can feel the intensity of the fear. I can feel my body bracing itself for a horrible, gory crash where I am certain this family will be killed. I want so badly to find that brake. I want to control this terrifying situation. It is very hard for me to let go and trust the animus to stop the car. When I go to the other part of the dyad where “everything’s alright,” it feels so different. The contrast is so great. The intense fear can not be quelled with a palliative mantra that says everything’s alright. Sometimes, everything is not ok. Our psyches can keep the memory of something terrifying and painful from this life or perhaps from another lifetime. The dreams allow us to feel these overwhelming feelings in stages, when we are ready for them. The dreams also let us know that we are not alone in this. There is a divine place that we can turn to. As I experience this homework, letting go and trusting this divine place (the animus) while feeling extreme fear is very difficult.

After a few days of feeling this homework, I become very, very tired. I feel almost a physical exhaustion as I keep trying to hit the brake, all the while feeling this frantic fear. Eventually, there is a moment where I just give up. I stop trying and I let him take over. At that point the fear changes. It has a soft feeling around the edge of it. The fear is still there but the frantic feeling is gone. I kind of relax into it and let myself feel it. This is a new place for me. I don’t stay there long. As time goes on, somehow the homework feeling and images begin to fade.  I am not sure why that happens. It is a mystery to me. But I trust that more dreams will come to help me feel the “not alright” feelings that are buried deep and eventually may lead me to a new life motto. Perhaps my new motto will be something like this:  feel and trust.







Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Deep Wound


Dream:
There is a small black scab on my arm.  I pick at it and it opens up to become large wound underneath. It feels so scary to have the insides of me exposed and open. I can see the muscles in there. I can’t imagine how it will heal. I show it to a man who suggests something about how to heal it. I am not sure what he means.

I pick at the small scab on the outside of my arm and the skin around it falls away, leaving this huge, gaping wound. It is deep. I can see the muscles in there.

The question with dreams is always – what am I feeling, or not feeling?

In the dream session, I go back into the dream and try to access the feeling. Although there is some fear there, I look at the wound more as an observer. I can’t believe it is so big. I wonder how it will ever heal. In a way, I am fascinated by it – looking at the muscles in there.

I show it to a man (animus) who seems to know something about healing it. But I do not really feel connected to him.

If this happened in waking life, there would be tremendous pain, fear and maybe nausea in seeing my own open wound. But I dissociate. I don’t really feel that much. 

I’ve been carrying a wound that comes from trauma in this life or perhaps another. Trauma can result from something that caused tremendous pain or fear. Or it could be a result of getting disconnected from God. We find ways to bury our wound so deeply that we don’t even know we have one. Maybe the only indication of it is a small scab. My scab shows itself to me in the ways that I become analytical, in the ways that I withdraw and dissociate. The dream is suggesting that I go below the dissociation, and face into the feelings of the wound underneath. The dream lets me know that I am not alone in this. The animus is there as witness to this wound. Although I can not feel the connection to him, the promise of the dream is that I don’t have to face this alone.

My homework is to feel the fear as I look at the large, deep wound on my arm with the man standing by me.

Initially, when I imagine into the homework, I am afraid. The wound is so deep and I am afraid of the tremendous pain that is sure to come. Soon, I find myself changing the homework image. I realize that in the dream there was no blood and so I begin to imagine the wound filling with blood. This gory image fills my mind and I forget that the man is standing there with me.

Rodger points out that my homework was about an existing wound that was bigger than I thought it was. It wasn’t about bleeding. I changed the homework. I changed the dream image that comes from the deep underneath place that is trying to lead me. This was my way of trying to take control. I stepped out of the dream image and in doing so, stepped away from an opportunity to feel fear with the animus by my side. 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Oh Simple Thing



A few months ago, I woke up with a tune in my head. It was familiar but I couldn’t place it. I sang it to my daughter and she recognized it as “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane.

When I listened to the song, there was a feeling that pulled me in. A recognition of something. Longing mixed with hope. The words and the melody stirred something in me. Music does that. It finds its way in to deep places within us. Places we may have forgotten.

The music and lyrics touched me…

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of?

A few years ago, I felt devastation at my core when I was awakened by a dream in which a man took a chainsaw and cut down a big, beautiful tree in my yard. The devastation I felt from that dream not only woke me up, it got me started on this dreamwork journey.  As I listen to the song, it’s like an extension of that dream. I feel the pain of the fallen tree. I feel the devastation as its branches are looking at me. It’s like the branches are asking me to remember the place that I used to love.

In a recent dream, a man (the animus) drives me into a garage. We get out of the car and he starts singing a tune. He encourages me to try it. I sing and my voice begins to soar. I am amazed by the voice that is coming out of me. It is loud and beautiful!

Dreams reflect ourselves to ourselves. They show us what we are at our core. Our soul. They also show us what we’ve lost. To stand with the animus and sing without holding back is being in my soul. Where do I lose that? When do I stop singing?

I attended a retreat recently where we took time to reflect about ourselves.  We considered these questions: What drives us? What are we truly seeking? One word kept coming up for me.

Expression.

Express is literally – to press out. There is something within me that is pressing out, wanting to be expressed. Sometimes, it is almost like I can feel it in my body, trying to get out. Could expression be the way the soul comes alive in us? Often we think of the body and soul as separate. Maybe expression is what connects the two, making us whole. I once dreamed of a book that seemed to be alive. It turned itself to a page that had one sentence written on it: “There is no limit to what can be expressed.” This is true. Expression can be writing, planting, dancing, imagining, painting, dreaming, crying, playing, laughing, screaming, singing …. the list goes on and on. There is no limit to what can be expressed through us, through our bodies.

I love singing as expression. As a line in a song by Death Cab for Cutie says, “I want to live where soul meets body.” Singing is vibrations of the soul through the body. I’ve always loved to sing but in many ways I’ve held back. In the dreamwork session, Rodger and I discuss my “relationship” to my own voice. In general, I have a harsh view of my singing voice. There are memories that show how I’ve developed this negative view. In one, I was in first grade. I was singing “The hills are alive with the sound of music…..” while in the bathroom adjacent to the classroom. It echoed so beautifully as I sang out. At age 6, I was in awe of my own voice (similar to the feeling I had in the dream). As I stepped out of the bathroom, my face burned with embarrassment. My teacher and the class were all staring at me. The awe I had just felt quickly turned to humiliation as my teacher scolded me for singing.

Rodger helps me see that the harsh view that I have developed about my voice is in opposition to my soul. My soul wants to express itself though song. The dream is a gift because it helps me to remember “the place that I used to love.”  It is such a simple thing.

The lyrics to the Keane song go on to say:

Oh simple thing where have you gone?

When I hear that line, I feel sadness. Maybe for me, and for many of us, the simple thing is expression. Expression of the soul. Expression is limitless. But often we limit ourselves. We cut our own soul trees down. We are left with the branches looking at us. Wanting us to remember. Asking us about the place we used to love. In my dream, the animus stands with me in love. Love of my soul. He loves my soul self and wants me know that place again. It is simple but profound. The amazing gift that he is offering is the opportunity to stand in love with him, connect with my soul and feel the awe again.